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No self-control, blame it on facebook!

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No self-control, blame it on facebook!

In Line With the new researches the Facebook or other social networking sites are  liable to encourage vanity even supposing additionally it lowers the self-regulate both when online or offline.

The researches established that those users who focal point on their shut chums develop into apt to observe an augment within the self-esteem all through searching the social networking sites ; after that, these customers show off loss in self-keep watch over.

Greater social networking utilize amongst these users with tricky bonds with their friends additionally linked with the persons with larger physique mass index and the upper level of credit cards debt,as per experiences of the consumer Research journal .

According To the assisstant professor of Pittsburgh University Andrew T. Stephen “As per our knowledge, this will be the first Analysis exhibiting that use of on-line social networking could have an effect on the self-keep an eye on,now we have verified that the usage of nowadays’s largely neatly-favored social community Facebook, would possibly have damaging changes on the individuals’s self keep an eye on.”
The Analysis paper embrace the five different studies carried out on greater than 1,000 Fb customers of US .”It’s Going To be precious for the researchers and the coverage makers to discover social networking additional with the intention to more desirable figuring out which customers may be on the entire at risk of suffer poor social or the psychological penalties,” wrote the creator.

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Rajni, a passionate animal lover, an avid traveller and a movie buff writes about the social media changing trends, innovation and technology. She has a keen eye for ordinary and extraordinary issues…..

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14 Comments to “No self-control, blame it on facebook!”

  1. RxP DarkBox // April 22, 2013 at 2:16 pm // Reply

    My fiance’ is a Virgo, I’m a Cancer. At times, she gets EXTREMELY jealous of other girls, even if I havent even said anything to one. Say one on my facebook posts something completely harmless and innocent. I know Virgos tend to overanalyze sometimes, but does that or could that typically lead to fits of jealousy? Being a Cancer, I’m not used to this kind of process, as instead of taking it out on my partner, if I feel someone is, or know someone is hitting on my girl, I call them out very bluntly or dismiss them like “She’s not your type. You’re excused”.. “She’s not interested, and neither am I”, or “Well.. I see you think you’re hitting it off. So a salad for her and 5 knuckles for you? That sound good?”. She tends to blame me or accuse me of something like being a player or unfaithful if another girl either : 1) is or 2) seems like they’re hitting on me, instead of taking up the issue with the person doing it, as I do. So, in part, I guess my question is how to prevent this or at least tame it some. I’ve already deleted some 100+ people off my facebook, just to avoid as much drama as possible. I’m not a cheater, I never have been and never will be. If anything, I avoid situations or activities in general that would raise suspicion, whether she would or wouldnt find out about it, because I just want things to go over as well as they can, because I’m crazy in love with her [obviously or I wouldnt be engaged to and marrying her]. But it drives me frickin nuts when she does it, and at first I was submissive and accepting of it, but after being accused of this or that so many times, I started standing my ground from getting absolutely annoyed by it. She’s not a negative person, but as you can tell from my previous question about Cancer male’s “extreme sense of justice/ right and wrong”, she’s been hurt a lot in the past and been through a lot of things that most people are fortunate enough to not experience [ex: Cheating,lying,abusive, and uncaring ex-husband, a deceased ex, a deceased son, her mother abandoning her,etc.] She’s a very emotional, but also a very strong person to have endured that, and it’s a massive quality to me to have someone strong and stable, sometimes it just seems to get out of whack. She’s very loving, and very mature, mother of 3. She is usually happy-go-lucky, as am I. I’m very positive, as much as I can humanly be, as a Cancer. But I also have a tendency to yell and say things I soon regret and carry on my conscience for the remainder of my existence, as does she when I get angry from accusations. As I said, I’m very loyal, and have never been known to, nor have cheated before, and never would. I’m a master of self-control, as far as temptations are concerned.. It just aggrivates me when I’ve done nothing but put my heart and soul, gut and mind, and every other ounce of energy I have into getting her to trust me [because believe me, she’s VERY jaded] and believe that I really am her “superman” [as she calls me lol]. I just need to know how to curb or completely silence those tendencies. It is truely the only one nagging thing about her I don’t get along with. Any helpful answer is appreciated
    Also, with these accusations, she often threatens to break up, sometimes I give in and try to calm her down, other times I just tell her she “knows where the door is” and should use it. She’s broken up with me a couple times, I’m never the one to do it, because honestly, I don’t have the nerve to do it, and I stay true to my word that I don’t quit [unless I’m cheated on or something of similar nature or magnitude]. Usually I have to get my say in and just let her calm down, and she then becomes very apologetic. She’s also not used to having a man in control of the relationship, she’s used to carrying all the weight, whereas I’m more the “I got this” type and am the leader of the 2. I think this sometimes causes us to have issues. I do however spoil her a lot, but not at an extreme of my own expense. Also, she’s not used to being looked after passionately but also wanting to be submissive to what I do and say. She enjoys it most of the time. And loves thoughtful gifts.
    I mean, for Valentine’s day, I barely had but $200 dollars, and bought her VERY nice authentic 10k white gold sapphire and diamond earrings from Jared. She’s very clingy to that gift, not at all a complaint on my part.. Actually that was my goal. As well as even the small gifts I give her. She loves my creativeness, with a very high value on it, and supports me in any life decision I make, such as being enlisted into the Marine Corps, even though she wanted me to join the Air Force, just for my safety, because she’s afraid she’ll “lose me”. She’s always been a thoughtful person in her past relationships, even when they were failing, and gone out of her way to please them, though it seems they didn’t truely appreciate it. She isn’t used to getting things in return, even love, but she’s very good at it, despite prior to me, never having really fallen for anyone she’s dated or been with.
    also, as for the 1st question below:
    I have an “open door” policy towards her. She can call me at any time, anywhere, I’ve reassured her of this and answered the phone whether I’ve been at a movie with my friends [guys], and gone out of my way to comfort her and talk to her even when it’s not convenient for me, because I care. I constantly remind her as well of how much I love her [i say it A LOT] and that I’m always her’s. I understand that the occassional problem may arise in consistency, as at times I am scatterbrained from taking on so much at once, with her, the Marine Corps, friends, work, and my own personal down time – which I spend a lot of thinking and trying to organize making it all work and as best as possible, 1st and foremost our relationship. Sometimes little things happen though. Like my phone is accidentally left on vibrate from being at the Marine Corps office and I dont hear her call.. But call back immediately

  2. Why does my cousin write this as her facebook status?
    HER LATEST STATUS:

    “”Once one disposes of the source of his/her misery, happiness will present itself and life will instantly become more purposeful”. I said it once in my ‘About Me’ section and I’m now saying it again. This is a powerful reminder to myself and others as so many of us have deprived ourselves of the happiness we deserve. Instead of simply removing the problem, we justify our stupidity by creating bogus reasons/excuses. It’s pathetic! I have FINALLY rid myself of the anchor(s) which caused me misery and I am now, once again finding purpose in my life!”

    My cousin writes like this every couple of weeks… basically destroying any integrity in her writing. Her intentions have no real purpose because there is no action behind them, it seems as though instincts destroy her intent and she has no self control along with not an ounce of integrity to follow through on anything she’s ever written. she constantly has to change or erase what she’s written because she can’t follow through, she caters her writing to her circumstances.

    Why does she try to fool everyone with her writing and act as if she’s the victim and takes no responsibility for her own doing and cause of her own unhappiness– meanwhile blaming everyone and everything under the sun except HERSELF!

  3. Employers are using Facebook and other social networking sites more and more, to dig deep to try to find “dirt” on a potential new hire, looking for any and all reasons not to hire the person, even if they are qualified. Do you think this could be part of the reason why our unemployment rate is still high and is not dropping as fast as people hoped would by now?

  4. We’ve been together for almost 7 years and from the start of our relationship there were always problems with control. She used to be an alcoholic and I stayed with her to help her through it. I wont deny we did have alot of fun but she had little to no self control..No matter the problem, her fault or mine, big or small it would always escalate to her literally screaming at me uncontrollably and hitting me with fists, brooms..basically anything. Guilt trips were very common and I generally “fell” for it mostly because I just didnt want to argue anymore. During that time period she would constantly vanish to the late hours of the night with her friend Brian who we both knew (he openely proposed to her out of the blue) liked her a great deal. Now I wasnt neccessarily against the,m hanging out more or less cause I just never really though too much of it until she would refuse to answer calls and when she did she screamed at me that I was trying to control her when all I really wanted to do was find out when shed be home. Anyways she also kept in close contact with her ex husband secretly as far as she knew even going as far as hiding his name as someone elses on her contact list on her phone so I didnt know she was talking to him…I knew cause I called the number just having a hunch. Anyways time went on and I stayed with her in hopes things would change and while she sobered up her screaming and physical “assaults (for lack of a better phrase) didnt. It got to the point where she told me who I could and could not talk to…where I was allowed to be and what I could spend my money on (keep in mind i was the only one working with 2 jobs) and also would scream at me and tell me i was a pile of shit and selfish for wanting to spend the night at my mothers to spend time with my family. We now have a child together and a second on the way and still to this day nothing has changed. I care about her but I cant stand the way she treats me and my child as well…the way she screams at me she does to my daughter as well…never watches her language around my daughter and is always starting fights about everything. Its gotten to the point where I just dont care what she says to me and if she belittles me anymore because Ive become so accustomed to it. And no Im not saying that Im by any means a saint…during this time Ive slowly stopped putting forth much effort to fix any problems because no matter what Im to blame and quite frankly Ive grown tired of apologizing for things that are hers and/or my fault. I dont want things to end in court but I do know it is only a matter of time before things escalate to bigger problems and if nothing else I dont want my daughter and new child to be raised in an atmosphere where we are always fighting and she is constantly screaming…at the same time though I dont want my kid(s) left alone with her cause I honestly dont feel as though they are safe alone with her…Shes actually refused to feed my daugter , whil;e she was breast feeding, until I swore to stop talking to coworkers through facebook…Any advice would be great…sorry for the “long winded” post but theres still more that I havent even touched base on throughout all of this..

  5. I’ve known Robert for four years now but I’ve never actually meet him in person because he lives in another state. I meet him over xboxlive. We talk almost every day, texting, over the phone, facebook and xboxlive. I’ve had a thing for since we first “meet” and he also thing for me.

    I just don’t really understand how I feel about him and I’m unsure what to do.

    He’s in my thoughts all the time and no matter how much I try not to think of him it doesn’t work.

    I’m always feeling the need for him or to talk to him, it makes me feel cling, needy, creepy, and weird.

    I get so anxious when waiting for his emails or text replays but I can forget everyone else’s. And I understand that he can’t always replay right away because he’s busy with stuff but I still get anxious and I don’t do that with any one else.

    I’m just so frustrated because I have no self control when it comes to Robert and I don’t know what to do. I’m not blaming Robert for how I feel about him or anything I just don’t understand why I feel this way.

    When ever I’m in a relationship with another man all I can think about is Robert and how the person I’m with is nothing like him.

    If you have anything helpful to say I could really use it. Please be kind I feel like a big nerd.

  6. lucasg615 // May 22, 2013 at 9:55 am // Reply

    Okay , I don’t know where to start from.
    My last year was a total disaster , I screw lots of things up , but okay , let’s start from very begging.
    There is this girl I fancy (we’re both 15) , I like her very much , she’s from my school and after my school year ended me and bunch of my friends went to the seaside to hang out , and she was there , I wasn’t paying any big attention to her until this one time , when she was smiling about something , she looked me straight into my eyes , and I just felt something 😀 , from that moment on I started to “like” her very much. So I hung out with her and her friends much more often than usually , So the school year started and I wasn’t able to see her , so this one time , I was waiting for a bus , and she came , she was so lovely , so I started to like her even more.That night , when I came home , I think I did one of the biggest mistakes that year , i opened up my facebook chat , went straight to her name and told her everything I feel about her.
    And than the horror began!
    She told me that she likes someone else , that she sees me more as a friend bla bla …
    And since that night I saw her maybe few times but we never talked about it , it was very uncomfortable situation.
    I kinda put that night behind me and started focusing on basketball.
    I brought my game to a whole new level in half a year.I am still “in love” with her but i try not to think about it , I am not ugly , i’m an athlete , and I don’t blame her for anything , because if she has the same emotions towards that guy that I have for her , then it’s fine , but I don’t know , I am totally confused , I need someone who will wrote down a good advice for me , should I try again or something?
    It’s hard to let go , i am really desperate , need some help , thanks

    BTW sorry about my bad English

  7. Right here goes. I conciser myself a smart girl. I’m naturally pretty, I don’t do all this make up and girly stuff… I geeky gamer girl type. 🙂 I’m told i look a lot younger than i really am (I’m 25 btw) This is irrelevant to my question really… Just I could move on if i really wanted to. but….

    So here goes.. This guy I met on a dating site a year ago keeps rebounding from his ex to me…. Everytime he has left me to get back with her he’d blocked me from his messenger, our only means of contact. He’s a (one woman in his life kinda guy). I think this woman is an emotionally abusive to him. Theirs is an online relationship. She lives in a different country, they’ve never MET and I only live some few miles away from him… They’ve broken up 100’s of times and I’m not exaggerating here… I saw this oh his Facebook wall. Break up all over the place, I was taken aback this for them has been going on for two years. He’s even told me she throws stuff around, and said to me he’s not used to having someone love him back. Which is really sad. :'(

    He feels he can’t leave her, to him it’s love, but I think is an emotional attachment and longing to for fill an emotional void. – which she is not providing. I don’t know.

    Every time he has broken up with her, he has always come back to me, only to miss her and leave me again! I do love him, and forgive his lies. Because I believe they are part of his confusing situation. We’re basically soul mates, the same in attitude, on so many levels and we have so many interests in common it’s out of this world. I can’t stop thinking about him !!! 🙁 They only difference between us is his lack of self control and impulsiveness.

    Recently he came back like it was for good. He confessed that he was miserable with her, he didn’t want to go back and wanted to stay with me. All was well for two weeks, I started to feel more secure with him staying, we stated getting a bit deep…Talking about love, feelings, needs, you know… I felt myself it was moving too fast for him after breaking with her, but he told me not to hold anything back. :/ Guess I should have..

    So at this stage, whenever we talked a lot about love and the future, he’d slump into some depressive state the next day. I had my suspicions he was missing her. As I know him so well, and have seen this before. He said he was just ‘sick’ I took his word for it…. Then finally some few more days later, when talking online I got fewer hearts and kisses from him. Then none… So i brought it up, told him we were going up and down, / hot and cold…. and that I loved him, how could he be so sad? If he has my love and he claims to feel the same about me? And still feel down? I asked him if he missed her.. he said ‘probably’ My heart sank….sigh. I asked if he still wanted me? He said ‘yes, but he’s not in the right frame of mind at the moment’

    He told me he wanted to go take a rest… ect. he’d speak to me later. Which he did, only it was short, and snappy…. usually a sign of his frustration and that he’s going back to the ex… And guess what? I got some emails. He’s gone again. He told me, that i’m never to speak to him again and that he just wastes my time trying to move on when it’s impossible… He told me to keep doing things i love, learn and be happy. To find someone better than him….. And even if they break up again, and it never works out i am to ignore him….

    I sent him an email of forgiveness… I don’t feel i can blame him for any of this. The heart is a strange thing. I said i’d always welcome him back as he is dear to me. I thanked him for coming back as it completed my happiness to see him again. I was able to see him again. Was able to hold him in my arms and kiss him. To show him my true feelings after all this time… Missing him through the whole year. Without that I felt an emptyness… But now i feel loss… longing for his return… I feel selfish. I want him back.

    So, that’s it…. What would you do? This is love. I know I could move on and not be happy. I’d find it really hard to find someone who LIKED near enough all the same things as me, and TOTALLY mirrored me as a person! Personality wise, we’re the same! Only differences between us is that he lacks control and is more impulsive.

    Do I email him again? To tell him i think we’re soul mates? or do i wait…. What do you think about this situation? I learned something about my self writing this. I feel like a pest. -.-

  8. Scott Bull // May 29, 2013 at 7:21 am // Reply

    I have an exam in 2 weeks time and I REALLY NEED to focus on revision. But no matter how I force myself, I have no motivations at all, whatsover, to study. 🙁 I always go on facebook and i cant even resist it 🙁 …i dont want to fail.

    Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid going on facbeook? Iwant to imporve my self-control 🙁

    thanks

  9. I’ve always been a devout Christian, but somehow I always find myself slipping away from God. I blame it on materialistic items such as shopping, tv, and cell phones. And instead of reading the bible, I read Harry Potter or Twilight. I know this is not what God wants for me, so I have come to the conclusion that if I become Amish I will become closer to God. The only problem is I have a full ride scholarship to a University and my parents don’t approve. Any advice??

  10. hank baseballs // May 31, 2013 at 4:45 am // Reply

    well I’ve liked this guy for about a year now. he used to like me last year but he lost interest. we barely see eachother cuz he is in highschool now and im in 8th grade. but i try to keep in touch and talk to him every other day and we have fought alot and finally a couple weeks ago started being cool with eachother and i think i messed it up last night. i was so annoying. i snapchatted him and he didnt respond so i snapchatted him again and he responded but i asked him a dumb question and he didnt respond and then i messaged him on facebook and he said huh and I said ^ and he didnt respond and then im like sorryyyyy im on my period so i cant ugh ya no. and hes like LMFAO and i was lkke its not me faulttttt and he didnt respond. i think I’ve ruined it again like i did last time. i want to message him tonight and ask him for help on my math so we can be cool again but idk. he gets mad really easily. and im seeing him tomorrow for the first time in like 4 months. so im really nervous. but im scared I’ve annoyed him too much what do i do

  11. My daughter is 13. 2 years ago I got her a laptop with internet access. It made our life a living hell. She gained a LOT of weight, her grades slipped and she started spending all day online and didn’t want to do anything else with her life. She also was CRYING about once a week over some fight or nasty comment online.

    The final straw was when she came home crying that people were leaving mean comments on her youtube page. I TOLD her not to put personal information online. Sure enough, she posted some videos, some kids at school saw it and are calling her “fatty” and things like that. Rather than blame these “bullies” I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY KID! I canceled her facebook, youtube and I confiscated all her photos and videos and made her delete them from her computer! Now she ONLY can use the internet for school and educational reasons and only under my supervision. If she can’t follow my rules and heed my warning that “People are mean” then she doesn’t get anymore internet! I gave her a choice to either STOP being so sensitive and STOP putting her image out there OR no internet! She knew what would happen and didn’t listen to me. I don’t feel bad for what I did at all!

    My sister thinks I am being “mean” by doing this. HOW is it mean? My daughter broke my rules, got herself in trouble and isn’t old enough or mature enough to handle being online. A 13 year old doesn’t NEED the internet to make friends. Kids grew up just fine in the days of no internet. If more parents BANISHED the internet from their kids lives we would have smarter, safer, thinner and happier kids. I don’t think that most children and teens are mature enough to know how to handle themselves online.

    My daughter won’t admit it but our lives are MUCH better now! She is a member of the family again. Her grades went back up. She’s in better shape and not sitting on her butt all day. She has more time for other things. She actually has MORE friends now than ever before because she is out in the REAL world interacting. And BEST of all I don’t have to deal with all the drama and crying and stress that “cyber-bullies” bring. Personally, I think ALL parents of teens should consider living internet free! Does anyone think I am mean? Or do you agree?
    My daughter is smart and mature…but I think MOST kids, no matter how smart are not prepared to deal with reality when it comes to the internet. When I hear about these teens commiting suicide over something online all I think is, “WHY did the parents let their crying, sad kid online to be teased?”
    As far as my tone, YEAH I am mad! I love my daughter but we had a major argument over this today. I basically explained everything I said here. She’s very sensitive and at the age where she takes everything too personally. When she’s a little more mature, I will give her internet back. But for now it’s just going to cause problems and I know this!

  12. I’ve always been a pationate gamer throughout my life. It’s mostly affected me in a negative way and neglected me from society. Now I’m not at bad as it seems, I was an active, well motivated kid throughout high school and what not. I was social and involved with the school. I had hobbies and friends and attended plenty of parties. I’m a very social guy and when I have to get the work done I do it. I sold my Xbox 360 in the beggining of June because I felt it was a temptation in the house and it kept me distracted. During the summer I fell in love with FIFA because of the world cup and I’ve become a soccer fanatic! I want to buy an Xbox again for FIFA 11. I promised myself that if I buy a 360 I’ll only play fifa and buy no other games and not get into and obsessed with gaming and just keep it a casual hobby for when I have NOTHING left to do and ALL my work is done. Now I feel I can keep that promise but at the same time I’m simply just worried if I’ll really be able to or not. It’s almost as if there’s a plate of hot turkey sitting on a table and the scent following me everywhere and I’m temped to follow it and go to it. I feel I would concentrate and excell still in college and life, though at the same time I feel it would be a lot of self control with the Xbox in the house. One positive I thought about with having an Xbox would be that it would be a nice challenge to help me with self control. It would allow me to ignore and concentrate on the important tasks at hand before fun time. My friend also told me it wouldn’t be bad to have a mini distraction because everyone has a distraction whether it’s shopping, or facebook, or drugs. What do you guys all think of this?

  13. because i always hear in the news about teenagers who either “pleaded guilty” or “are arrested on suspection of ______ (crime)
    but i don’t see the government or anyone do anything about it. I made a group on Facebook to do with Teenage Crime, to show my thoughts and everyone elses (i made it a couple of minutes ago).
    anyway my questions are:
    Why is teenage crime on the rise?
    Who’s doing anything about it?
    What can we do about it?
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1352971898&ref=name#/group.php?gid=107305449717&ref=mf

  14. Cpt Excelsior // June 9, 2013 at 6:26 am // Reply

    Why do young people feel able to use social networking sites to disclose abuse/ assault or seek advice rather than speaking to someone face to face?

    I am a student researching disclosures of sexual assault on social networking sites. To help my research I would really like to understand what are the impacts (positive & negative) of disclosing sexual assault or abuse on social network sites in particular for young people.

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